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第45部分（第2页）

“Wow。”　Dan　picked　up　the　papers　to　look　more　closely。　The　house　looked　familiar；　like　someplace　he’d　studied　in　school　or　seen　in　a　coffee…table　book　about　architecture。

“It’s　a　Frank　Lloyd　Wright　house；　one　of　his　early；　Prairie…style　ones。　It’s　one　of　the　first　ones　he　created；”　Serena　said　proudly；　as　if　she’d　built　the　house　herself。　“And　it’s　ours。　Just　outside　Iowa　City！”

Dan　looked　around　so　he　wouldn’t　have　to　gaze　into　Serena’s　eyes。　The　coffee　shop　was　almost　empty；　except　for　two　couples　cozily　leaning　over　their　lattes。　The　events　of　last　night　came　rushing　back　to　him　in　a　flash　of　jet…black　hair　strewn　over　his　bare　chest。　Vanessa。

He　bed　his　hand　through　his　messy　hair。　“Um；　I’ve　been　thinking…”

“Do　you　like　it？”　Serena　asked；　biting　her　bottom　lip。

Large　concrete…pool　empty　eyes。

Dive　in…。

Dan　realized　just　then　that　he’d　never　imagined　Serena　joining　him　in　Iowa。　He’d　imagined　himself；　alone；　scribbling　poems。　Driving　past　endless　cornfields。　Mingling　with　other　students　at　poetry　readings　while　drinking　warm　white　wine　in　paper　cups。　In　all　of　his　visions；　he　was　by　himself。

“But　what　would　you　do　in　Iowa？”　The　words　were　out　of　Dan’s　mouth　before　he　could　stop　them。

“You　don’t　want　me　there？”　Serena　asked　in　a　small　voice。　She　began　chewing　on　her　thumbnail。　It　was　one　of　her　worst　habits；　one　the　makeup　artist　at　Breakfast　at　Fred’s　had　desperately　tried　to　stop；　but　Serena　couldn’t　help　it。　She　couldn’t　believe　Dan　didn’t　want　her。　It　was　so　unexpected　that　she　didn’t　know　what　to　think。

“No。　I　mean…”　Dan　trailed　off。　“I　need　to　just　write；　and　you　need　to…”　What　did　Serena　need　to　do？　For　the　past　couple　years；　it　had　felt　as　though　her　whole　life　revolved　around　him。　And　it　had　been　kind　of　nice；　to　be　such　a　central　part　of　her　world；　to　be　her　world　pletely。　But　Serena　deserved　to　have　her　own　thing。　“I　mean；　I　think　I　need　to　do　this　by　myself。”

Serena　nodded　slowly；　looking　at　the　photos　of　the　house；　a　dot　against　a　flat　green　landscape。　She’d　never　live　there　now。

“I　guess—I　guess　I　need　to　find　my　own　Iowa；”　Serena　said　slowly。　Around　them；　couples　were　gazing　adoringly　at　each　other　over　their　lattes；　their　tabletops　scattered　with　interchangeable　notebooks　and　books。　Serena　glanced　down　at　their　own　table；　which　held　her　cranberry　pink　Miu　Miu　bag　and　Dan’s　tattered；　stained　paperback。　Even　their　drinks　didn’t　match：　Hers　was　a　large　latte　in　a　paper　cup；　his　a　tiny；　chipped　espresso　mug。　No　matter　what　they　did　together　or　how　they　spent　their　time　or　how　much　she　loved　him；　they　were　just　pletely　different　people。　She’d　always　known　that；　but　she　didn’t　want　to　admit　it。

“You　can　still　keep　the　house。　I　paid　the　first　few　months。　It　was　your　Christmas　present；”　she　said；　offering　a　small　smile。

Dan　shook　his　head。　The　house　was　beautiful。　It　just　wasn’t　right　for　him。　Just　like　Serena。　“I’m　sorry；”　he　said　simply。　He　hadn’t　said　they　were　over。　He　didn’t　have　to。　Serena　already　seemed　to　know。

“I　don’t　want　to　do　that　goodbye　stuff　here。”　A　small　smile　formed　on　her　lovely　face　as　she　glanced　around　the　coffee　shop。

She　settled　her　gaze　on　Dan。　“I’ve　always　hated　it　here；”　she　confided。

And　now　she　never　has　to　go　back！

it’s　called　a　breakup　because　it’s　broken

“To　the　smartest；　sexiest　lawyer　I　know！　This　is　just　the　beginning；　Bear。”　Chuck　held　out　a　glass　of　champagne；　waiting　for　Blair　to　clink　her　glass　against　his。　They　were　squeezed　into　a　corner　table　at　Blue　Ribbon　Bakery；　nearby　Chuck’s　apartment　on　Thursday　morning；　and　the　bright　sun　streaming　through　the　windows　was　only　aiding　Blair’s　pounding　headache。　She　couldn’t　even　think　about　what　she　was　planning　to　order　for　brunch；　let　alone　toast　to　her　future。

Since　when　does　Blair　not　want　to　toast　something？

“Future　lawyer。”　Blair　rolled　her　eyes。　“I　have　to　go　to　law　school　before　I　can　actually　practice　law。”

She　knew　she　should　be　more　excited　that　she’d　been　officially　offered　a　job　at　McMahon　Cannon；　but　she’d　received　the　call　right　in　the　middle　of　eating　a　bagel　in　Nate’s　kitchen。　The　offer　was　an　unwele　reminder　that　she　really　was　a　grownup；　that　the　fun　and　giggly　and　totally　innocent　night　in　Nate’s　bed　was　probably　her　last；　that；　whether　she　liked　it　or　not；　she’d　chosen　a　path　for　her　life。

Which　is　a　heavy　realization　pre…brunch。

Blair　cautiously　sipped　her　champagne。　She　hadn’t　told　Chuck　where　she’d　spent　last　night。　It　was　just　easier　if　he　assumed　she　and　Serena　had　one　glass　too　many　of　wine　before　they’d　both　headed　back　to　the　Upper　East　Side。

“What　are　you　thinking？”

Blair　tried　to　suppress　a　sigh。　She’d　always　hated　that　question。　“What　am　I　thinking？”　she　parroted。　“That　there　should　be　some　fucking　service　here。　We’ve　been　sitting　here　for　twenty　minutes；”　she　snapped　in　annoyance。　She　hated　waiting。

“Are　you　okay？”　Chuck　asked；　placing　his　hand　protectively　on　top　of　hers。

Blair　resisted　the　urge　to　pull　away。　For　some　reason；　Chuck　was　so　annoying　today。

“I’m　just　tired。　Maybe　it’s　a　cold　or　something；”　Blair　lied；　pulling　on　the　sleeve　of　her　black　Vince　cashmere　sweater。　She　hadn’t　even　gone　home　to　change　after　the　impromptu　sleepover。　Maybe　that　was　her　problem。　A　nap；　a　shower；　and　a　change　of　clothes　and　she’d　be　fine。

If　only　it　were　that　simple…。

Chuck　nodded。　“I　thought　we　could　plan　our　summer；　now　that　your　job　is　all　set。　You　know；　for　something　to　look　forward　to。　Maybe　we　could　do　Capri　or　the　Maldives；　and　then　a　place　in　Water　Mill。　I　don’t　know　if　I’m　ready　to　buy　yet；　though；”　he　mused。

Blair’s　stomach　lurched。　Where　the　fuck　was　the　waiter？　She　felt　like　she　was　going　to　throw　up。　And　why　was　Chuck　talking　about　buying　a　house　in　the　Hamptons？　She’d　only　just　turned　twenty…one。　Couldn’t　they　act　like　normal　college　students？　She　wouldn’t　mind　a　little　more　fun　and　a　little　less　real　estate。

She　took　a　deep　breath。　She　felt　like　the　cream　walls　of　the　restaurant　were　closing　in　on　her。　Around　her；　patrons　were　chatt