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第22部分（第1页）

Bitchfest　at　Barneys？

hey　people！

everything　old　is　new　again

Maybe　you　dusted　off　your　white　Oscar　de　la　Renta　mencement　dress　and　repurposed　it　for　your　angel　costume　this　Halloween。　Maybe　you　stole　a　few　of　your　mom’s　vintage　Pucci　dresses　from　her　closet　over　Thanksgiving　and　now　wear　them　to　cocktail　parties。　Or　maybe　you　just　keep　bringing　up　that　story　about　how　you　used　to　be　friends　with　Hollywood’s　latest　It　Girl。

The　point　is；　things　that　seemed　same…old　in　high　school　take　on　a　shiny　newness　in　college。　That　rule　applies　to　the　people　in　our　lives；　too。　Which　is　why　I；　for　one；　can’t　say　I’m　surprised　that　S　and　N　were　spotted　getting　hot　and　heavy　in　a　darkened　corner　of　the　Bass　suite　at　the　Tribeca　Star　on　New　Year’s　Eve。　So　why　was　N　seen　leaving　S’s　Perry　Street　abode　at　the　ungodly　hour　of　9　a。m。　on　New　Year’s　Day？

the　walk　of　shame

N’s　walk　home　reminds　me：　It’s　time　for　a　refresher　course　on　graceful　exits　from　overnight　arrangements。　While　it　may　not　be　on　the　official　college　syllabus；　the　walk　of　shame　is　a　test　everyone　must　plete　at　least　once。　You’re　practically　guaranteed　to　run　into　someone　you　know。　So　hold　your　head　up　high；　and　remind　yourself　that　they’re　strolling　the　campus　at　8　a。m。　on　a　Sunday；　too。

sightings

V　and　her　boyfriend　H　having　brunch　at　Egg；　the　inexplicably　popular　breakfast　joint　in　Williamsburg；　throwing　around　phrases　like　development　exec　and　gross　points。　Could　V　be　making　the　move　to　the　big　time？　And　will　any　of　us　be　invited　to　make　cameo　appearances？　Better　get　ready　for　your　close…up！　S　at　Doma；　the　coffee　shop　near　her　apartment；　reading　The　New　Yorker　and　looking　forlorn—until　she　flipped　a　page；　and　her　face　lit　up。　Maybe　poetry　is　good　for　the　soul。　A　very　drunk　D　and　a　ruddy…faced　older　Irish　man　at　a　pub　on　Upper　Broadway；　noisily　reciting　Joyce。　Poetry　may　be　good　for　their　souls　too；　but　can　they　keep　it　down？

your　e…mail

q：　Dear　Gossip　Girl；

Hello。　I’m　a　sous　chef　at　the　restaurant　of　an　exclusive　downtown　hotel；　and　we’ve　been　getting　quite　a　few　room　service　requests　from　the　same　patron。　I　was　curious；　so　yesterday　I　delivered　the　order　myself。　She’s　very　beautiful；　but　looks　very　sad。　How　do　I　let　her　know　that　I　would　be　happy　to　hang　out　while　she　eats　her　omelet　without　seeming　creepy？

—topchef

a：　Dear　Top　Chef；

I　hate　to　disappoint　you；　but　if　you’re　talking　about　the　same　tragic　brunette　beauty　I　know；　I　think　what　she　needs　right　now　is　some　time　to　herself。　If　you’d　like　to　do　something　for　her；　I　suggest　a　plementary　order　of　cheese　fries；　onion　rings；　or　any　other　too…bad…to…order　foods　all　girls　secretly　love。

—GG

q：　Dear　Gossip　Girl；

I　can’t　wait　to　get　to　college。　Or　at　least　get　a　college　boyfriend。　Should　I　graduate　early？　Show　up　at　my　sister’s　campus；　even　though　she　never　invites　me？　Advice　please！

—mature

a：　Dear　Mature；

While　it’s　always　admirable　to　aspire　to　a　position　greater　than　the　one　you　currently　occupy；　why　the　rush？　High　school　may　seem　tedious；　and　your　uniforms　may　seem　tacky。　But　trust　me；　you’ll　miss　it　when　it’s　over。

—GG

q：　Dear　Gossip　Girl；

My　girlfriend　and　I　are　visiting　her　hometown；　and　she’s　been　acting　kind　of　strange。　She　hasn’t　introduced　me　to　any　of　her　old　friends　from　high　school。　It’s　like　she’s　trying　to　hide　something。　What　do　you　think？

—New　Boy

a：　Dear　NB；

There　are　a　few　possible　explanations：　Maybe　she’s　shy。　Maybe　she’s　hiding　some　skeletons　in　her　closet。　Maybe　she　just　wants　to　keep　you　all　to　herself。　Or　maybe　she　just　doesn’t　want　to　introduce　a　paranoid　weirdo　to　her　friends。

—GG

theory　in　action

In　literary　theory；　a　liminal　space　is　somewhere　in　between—a　place　that’s　neither　here　nor　there。　I　think　it’s　safe　to　say　we’re　at　a　liminal　space　in　our　lives：　We’re　not　teenagers；　but　we’re　not　quite　adults。　At　times　we’re　being　chastised　by　our　parents　for　not　calling；　at　others；　we’re　starting　internships　at　panies　we　might　want　to　work　for　someday；　in　our　real；　adult　lives。　My　advice：　Instead　of　worrying　about　who　you　were　or　what　you’ll　bee；　try　to　just　enjoy　the　moment。

You　know　you　love　me；

gossip　girl

boys　should　always　ask　for　directions

Nate　lumbered　into　the　kitchen　of　his　town　house　Friday　morning；　in　search　of　food。　His　raging　booze　and　pot　hangover　had　finally　dissipated　enough　for　him　to　roll　out　of　bed。　He　felt　disgusting；　like　one　of　the　frogs　that　lived　at　the　bottom　of　the　pond　at　Deep　Springs。