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第58部分（第1页）

ward　nothing　but　its　own　glassy　self。　In　that　one　way；　at　least；　radio　was　better。

Janice　came　in；　knelt　beside　the　arm　of　my　chair；　and　took　my　hand。　For　a　little　while　neither　of　us　said　anything；　just　stayed　that　way；　listening　to　Kay　Kysers　Kollege　of　Musical　Knowledge　and　watching　the　stars　e　out。　It　was　all　right　with　me。

〃Im　so　sorry　I　called　you　a　coward〃；　she　said。　〃I　feel　worse　about　that　than　anything　Ive　ever　said　to　you　in　our　whole　marriage。〃

〃Even　the　time　when　we　went　camping　and　you　called　me　Old　Stinky　Sam？〃　I　asked；　and　then　we　laughed　and　had　a　kiss　or　two　and　it　was　better　again　between　us。　She　was　so　beautiful；　my　Janice；　and　I　still　dream　of　her。　Old　and　tired　of　living　as　I　am；　Ill　dream　that　she　walks　into　my　room　in　this　lonely；　forgotten　place　where　the　hallways　all　smell　of　piss　and　old　boiled　cabbage；　I　dream　shes　young　and　beautiful　with　her　blue　eyes　and　her　fine　high　breasts　that　I　couldnt　hardly　keep　my　hands　off　of；　and　shell　say；　Why；　honey；　I　wasnt　in　that　bus　crash。　You　made　a　mistake；　thats　all。　Even　now　I　dream　that；　and　sometimes　when　I　wake　up　and　know　it　was　a　dream；　I　cry。　I；　who　hardly　ever　cried　at　all　when　I　was　young。

〃Does　Hal　know？〃　she　asked　at　last。

〃That　John　s　innocent？　I　dont　see　how　he　can。〃

〃Can　he　help？　Does　he　have　any　influence　with　Cribus？〃

〃Not　a　bit；　honey

She　nodded；　as　if　she　had　expected　this。　〃Then　dont　tell　him。　If　he　cant　help；　for　Gods　sake　dont　tell　him。〃

〃No。〃

She　looked　up　at　me　with　steady　eyes。　〃And　you　wont　call　in　sick　that　night。　None　of　you　will。　You　cant。〃

〃No；　we　cant。　If　were　there；　we　can　at　least　make　it　quick　for　him。　We　can　do　that　much。　It　wont　be　like　Delacroix。〃　For　a　moment；　mercifully　brief；　I　saw　the　black　silk　mask　burning　away　from　Dels　face　and　revealing　the　cooked　blobs　of　jelly　which　had　been　his　eyes。

〃Theres　no　way　out　for　you；　is　there？〃　She　took　my　hand；　rubbed　it　down　the　soft　velvet　of　her　cheek。　〃Poor　Paul。　Poor　old　guy。〃

I　said　nothing。　Never　before　or　after　in　my　life　did　I　feel　so　much　like　running　from　a　thing。　Just　taking　Jan　with　me；　the　two　of　us　with　a　single　packed　carpetbag　between　us；　running　to　anywhere。

〃My　poor　old　guy〃；　she　repeated；　and　then：　〃Talk　to　him。〃

〃Who？　John　？〃

〃Yes。　Talk　to　him。　Find　out　what　he　wants。〃

I　thought　about　it；　then　nodded。　She　was　right。　She　usually　was。

7。

Two　days　later；　on　the　eighteenth；　Bill　Dodge；　Hank　Bitterman；　and　someone　else　…　I　dont　remember　who；　some　floater　…　took　John　Coffey　over　to　D　Block　for　his　shower；　and　we　rehearsed　his　execution　while　he　was　gone。　We　didnt　let　Toot…Toot　stand　in　for　John　；　all　of　us　knew；　even　without　talking　about　it；　that　it　would　have　been　an　obscenity。

I　did　it。

〃John　Coffey〃；　Brutal　said　in　a　not…quite…steady　voice　as　I　sat　clamped　into　Old　Sparky；　〃you　have　been　condemned　to　die　in　the　electric　chair；　sentence　passed　by　a　jury　of　your　peers。　。。〃

John　Coffeys　peers？　What　a　joke。　So　far　as　I　knew；　there　was　no　one　like　him　on　the　pla。　Then　I　thought　of　what　John　had　said　while　he　stood　looking　at　Sparky　from　the　foot　of　the　stairs　leading　down　from　my　office：　Theyre　still　in　there。　I　hear　them　screaming。

〃Get　me　out　of　it〃；　I　said　hoarsely。　〃Undo　these　clamps　and　let　me　up。〃

They　did　it；　but　for　a　moment　I　felt　frozen　there；　as　if　Old　Sparky　did　not　want　to　let　me　go。

As　we　walked　back　to　the　block；　Brutal　spoke　to　me　in　a　low　voice；　so　not　even　Dean　and　Harry；　who　were　setting　up　the　last　of　the　chairs　behind　us；　would　overhear。　〃I　done　a　few　things　in　my　life　that　Im　not　proud　of；　but　this　is　the　first　time　I　ever　felt　really　actually　in　danger　of　hell。〃

I　looked　at　him　to　make　sure　he　wasnt　joking。　I　didnt　think　he　was。　〃What　do　you　mean？〃

〃I　mean　were　fixing　to　kill　a　gift　of　God〃；　he　said。　〃One　that　never　did　ary　harm　to　us；　or　to　anyone　else。　What　am　I　going　to　say　if　I　end　up　standing　in　front　of　God　the　Father　Almighty　and　He　asks　me　to　explain　why　I　did　it？　That　it　was　my　job？　My　job？〃

8。

When　John　got　back　from　his　shower　and　the　floaters　had　left；　I　unlocked　his　cell；　went　in；　and　sat　down　on　the　bunk　beside　him。　Brutal　was　on　the　desk。　He　looked　up；　saw　me　in　there　on　my　own；　but　said　nothing。　He　just　went　back　to　whatever　paperwork　he　was　currently　mangling；　licking　away　at　the　tip　of　his　pencil　the　whole　time。

John　looked　at　me　with　his　strange　eyes　…　bloodshot；　distant；　on　the　verge　of　tears　。。。　and　yet　calm；　too；　as　if　crying　was　not　such　a　bad　way　of　life；　not　once　you　got　used　to　it。　He　even　smiled　a　little。　He　smelled　of　Ivory　soap；　I　remember；　as　clean　and　fresh　as　a　baby　after　his　evening　bath。

〃Hello；　boss；〃　he　said；　and　then　reached　out　and　took　both　of　my　hands　in　both　of　his。　It　was　done　with　a　perfect　unstudied　naturalness。

〃Hello；　John　。〃　There　was　a　little　block　in　my　throat；　and　I　tried　to　swallow　it　away。　〃I　guess　you　know　that　were　ing　down　to　it　now。　Another　couple　of　days。〃

He　said　nothing；　only　sat　there　holding　my　hands　in　his。　I　think；　looking　back　on　it；　that　something　had　already　begun　to　happen　to　me；　but　I　was　too　fixed　…　mentally　and　emotionally　…　on　doing　my　duty　to　notice。